This is why CrypticRock gives Curse of the Mayans 5 out of 5 stars. Advertisement There's an unbalanced effect here. You know you're in for a slog when a movie starts with an expository text crawl followed by an expository voiceover before it even gets to any action, and Mayans makes almost no sense at all despite all the explanations if anything, they make it worse. After traveling to Mexico, he hires an expert team of cave divers, led by Danielle Noble, to explore a submerged labyrinth of ruins left behind by the ancient civilization before their mysterious disappearance. Her voice is unbroken by softness or sentimentality.
You will receive a weekly newsletter full of movie-related tidbits, articles, trailers, even the occasional streamable movie. Club members also get access to our members-only section on RogerEbert. Alan Green an American Archelogist leads Danielle Noble an her team of cave divers on an expedition searching the Mayan ancient records. Once the expedition team is assembled, they all head out into the forbidding and dark jungle. Curse of the Mayans still. She announces that any young writer interested in the gig should reach out to her agent. It doesn't really come as a surprise when she ends each interview by demanding the candidates perform oral sex on her.
Doh puts in decent shift. A professor hires a professional team of cave divers to explore long buried underwater ancient Mayan ruins in the hope that he can discover how and why the civilization disappeared. Maya is not emotional about committing suicide. The three celebrated volumes she wrote in her 30s made her name. Otherwise, stay away from this junk.
Olin is better than the film she's in, and she dominates the other actors onscreen. She doesn't even seem particularly depressed. Paul is not easy to manipulate, so it's no wonder, then, considering what we have seen of Maya, that she is drawn to him. It's not just that she's horny although that's part of it. This is one of the worst movies I have watched in quite a while. Curse of the Mayans still. The camaraderie and chemistry among the crew members is exemplary until superstition rears its head upon the arrival at the archaeological site, causing some division amongst the ranks.
Only the aerial shots possibly captured thanks to the crop-dusters that were clearly the filmmakers' main asset look remotely professional, and it's hard to stage a convincing zombie apocalypse when normal daily activity is clearly going on in the frame behind your characters. The film seesaws back and forth between quiet gentle Ansel and aggressive jerk Paul, somewhat tiresomely pitting them against one another. Once the characters run out of things to shoot at, the movie just ends, having exhausted its meager purpose. Story line is terrible and so is the acting. She has no family, no husband, no children.
Mitch Gould A bunch of mercenaries fight a bunch of remote-controlled death-bots in a movie that mainly resembles watching somebody else play a not particularly interesting video game. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statue that might otherwise be infringing. Green has gotten wind that a parchment was found with Ancient Mayan writing and that was all it took for him to set his sights on discovering further ancient treasures; Green is a man with a single-minded purpose who leaves no stone unturned when it comes to archeology and, thankfully, he has a benefactor with deep pockets. The beginning of the end of starts in a hole near Convento San Bernardino De Siena in Valladolid, Yucatán, México. All that matters is her work. He wants her to re-consider. He shows his range yet again with the depiction of Lam, although the narrative falters a bit in the middle.
Movies like this need to get by on clever writing and lively pacing to make up for their budgetary shortfalls, but Attack is sluggish and plodding. Maya Dardel is played by the great , an actress of enormous power and intelligence, and her presence—prickly, intimidating, unpredictable, frankly sexual—is justification alone for the film's existence. Her only previous credit was Struggle, notable for featuring the late, great Fung Hark On. This subterranean Thriller will submerge viewers for a 88-minute-long deep dive into a mysterious, Ancient Mayan water-world of caves, resulting in the discovery of a sinister secret better left alone; it is most certainly an engrossing, fantastical tale about the Mayan prophecy of the apocalypse. The scenes with her shotgun-toting off-the-grid next door neighbor are fantastic. As the audience lets out a collective sigh of relief and mops their foreheads free of sweat, Danielle Noble delivers a contemplative narrative that leaves the viewer with mouth agape, with a mystical revelation to cerebrally chew on; she readily shares her epiphany after all the interlocking pieces of the Mayan mystery puzzle come together.
Mark Newton Originally titled more accurately but less enticingly Kudzu Zombies, the no-budget horror-comedy Attack of the Southern Fried Zombies isn't nearly as amusing as its revamped title. Usually, this makes for some boring film watching, but surprisingly, Carla Ortiz is a pretty solid actress and gorgeous to boot. The most entertaining part is the hard rock title song during the closing credits, but with the change to the new title, even that ends up missing the mark. If the world were just, the industry would have already figured her out, would have realized that she always belongs at the center of things. Seeing that her brother is under a type of black magic, Lam decides to visit a medium and work out his own past to further his work. Cotler and Zyzak are to be applauded for creating a space where Lena Olin can roam free. Despite a recent loss in her personal life that haunts her dreams, she strives to move forward one step at a time.